Why Does She Do It?

I thought a lot (almost five minutes) before attempting to answer this question that so many ask (even if not out loud). I read many military support sites (like the yahoo group for "New Military Wives") and they often mention the difficulty of maintaining relationships with "civilian friends." One thing I note is that they don't have the kind of friends Sam does -- friends who stand by each other even if they believe the friend to be making incredibly stupid decisions.

Still, why would someone who is far from conservative in her politics join the Army at a time of war created by a President for whom she never voted and whose policies she despises? Perhaps for my own benefit, I'm going to try to answer the question. I will, however, skip over the rhetoric about patriotism and freedom (although they do come into consideration). Let's keep it personal.

Those of you who knew Sam from high school knew of her interest in JROTC. It was not just to hang out with the cool kids in fatigues. She enjoyed the discipline and focus. It is an interest bred in her. Her father and grandfather had military backgrounds. But, of course, that also meant that she was exposed to the feelings (often negative) of the spouses of absent military members.

Sam takes great pride in tracing her family heritage to the pilgrim days. During the Revolutionary War, her ancestress Deborah Sampson became an American hero by fighting while disquised as a man. Love for this country and for the military that gained its freedom and defends it is an integral part of her character.

In addition, Sam has also been drawn to the "caring professions." She has always wanted to major in psychology, understand better about human motivations and actions, and help people with their problems. Having benefited from counseling herself, she wants to be a helper for others. In both volunteer work and jobs, she has worked with children, teenagers, and elderly adults. In the last few years, she learned that she really doesn't like doing it with the elderly (stop giggling, I'm serious here). She has more interest in teenagers and young adults. Ultimately, she would like to become a psychologist and work with them. The Army makes it possible for her to do both at the same time.

Moving to more psychological motives (that she might even deny), I think it is important to Sam to prove herself in a world that doesn't base success on outward appearance. As many beautiful women do, Sam has often found her beauty to be a hindrance to her intelligence. She hates for people primarily to speak of her looks when they remember her. In the Army, she is in uniform (even if she does make that uniform really look great). She is part of a unit that must work together and looks have nothing to do with their success.

To combine these motives, in the Army, Sam is able to live the disciplined military life that she desires while helping people. Her commitment is to the soldiers serving in that military. There are over 140,000 soldiers deployed in Iraq and Afghanistan. They are on the frontline in a war of cultures and ideologies that, I believe, will ultimately lead to a greater war. She is not interested in only collecting a paycheck (she could certainly do better elsewhere) or staying behind the scenes to allow others to do the harder, more dangerous work. She is proud to be a soldier and willing to serve wherever her talents are needed. She has given her children and me, the 20 years since she left high school. Now, we are in a position for her to give her life and talents to serve a greater good -- that of the U.S. Army soldiers. And that is what gives me pride to be able to support her in fulfilling that dream.